Shutter

Shutter is a Thai horror along the same vein as Ring or Dark Water, and it concerns a young couple who are disturbed by strange images appearing on photos they have taken. Most of the images appear as smears, but the odd ghostly face does pop up.

Now, when I say 'along the same vein as...' what I really mean is that is is very, very similar to the other Asian horrors. Most of the jumps and scares come from familiar devices; a bloody face suddenly appearing in the frame: check; lights flickering and going out: check; evil looking young Asian girl with long hair slowly crawling out of something towards terrified onlooker: check.

This movie has the same 'seen it many times before' feel to it for most of the way, and with a plot device just clinging on for dear life (or afterlife). But, again like its peers, the end goes a long way to make up for the downfalls in the journey. Would really like to type more about it, but if you ever do get to see this movie (being a low key Asian horror, its not likely to get a major release so those who frequent Omagh cinema, don't hold your breath) I wont spoil the climax.

It was made in 2004 so is probably out in many countries already as some foreign movies take a while to get to these shores.

Worth a watch? Really only if you like to compare your Asian horrors and play 'spot the difference'. Is it scary? Well, I did watch it late at night, alone in a large, dark auditorium, with the whole of a 20 screen cinema to close by myself afterwards. So I'm going to say I was 'a little bit jumpy'.

Die Hard 4.0

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE. THE SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER IS ALIVE AND WELL.

Just when all hope was beginning to slip away, when expectations had been cut down time after time, be it the bitter disappointment left by Spider-man 3, or the confused bewilderment felt after three+ hours of Pirates of The Caribbean: At Worlds End, along comes an old friend to show that the world is still going onwards.

The fourth installment of Die Hard, with Bruce Willis back in the driving seat as John McClane, is an action-packed, explosion-filled, roller coaster ride of fun and excitement that has been lacking in the big hitters so far. Its as good as the original, and it feels like it increases in size the same as the others: the original in a tower building, the next an airport, then a city, this installment takes in a large portion of the eastern seaboard of the USA. The set pieces within the movie increase in strength and intensity as the story marches relentlessly onwards and all the while Brucey delivers the expected kick-ass witty one liners. He's older, balder and a lot less agile, but that doesn't matter in the slightest as he jumps from speeding vehicles, jumps onto speeding vehicles and gets thrown about by explosion after explosion. He kills a helicopter with a car for christs sake! Its also good to see that he hasn't gained any morals during the absence.

The story of Die Hard 4.0 sees an evil guy bringing the US to its knees via computers and the Internet. Then john McClane saves the day. By shooting lots of people and blowing shit up, the old fashioned way of doing things. And long may it last says I. Still haven't stopped smiling since seeing it, not only the best Blockbuster this year to date, but one of the most enjoyable movies of the year. So much action in it, I felt knackered when it ended. The standard has been set, the competition so far has been decimated by this Adrenalin charged blockbuster. It now lies with Transformers to put up a fight...

Hostel Part 2

Another sequel. For those not in the know, the original Hostel movie was about a two college friends taking a trip to a hostel in Slovakia and ending up as gore fodder for rich folk seeking their ultimate thrill: to torture and murder backpackers (maybe not only backpackers, but current movie trends suggests these unwitting participants are the main targets). With a strong mix of gratuitous pornography and gore, it doesn't exactly make the best film for a first date. Oops. Maybe that's why she never called again...

The writer and director of Hostel and, indeed, Hostel part 2, is Eli Roth. The only problem here being that Mr Roth's main strengths don't seem to lie with writing and directing. The original was marketed on the gore content and torture scenes, and knocked The Chronicles of Narnia off the #1 spot at the box office; a scary peek at the mindset of the populace.

The sequel has been marketed on... er... the gore content and torture scenes, but this time its a little different. The sales pitch could have gone something like this: "Imagine Hostel again. But this time, lets have girls instead of guys!" That's about the height of the change. Those movie-making guys, they've got smarts.

Okay. At least with girls we have a bit more eye candy to watch, right guys? Well, with very little nudity, bar the odd bit of full frontal male and one scene later on, it doesn't challenge in that respect (honestly mum, I wasn't watching out for any rude bits). What we have is another poorly scripted group of characters walking into stupid predicaments. Haven't we learnt by now that eastern Europe is no place to go? They all wear black leather jackets with dark clothing, have shaven heads and insane glints in their eyes, don't they?

I have to say that I thought this film was a bit better than its predecessor, it had another angle on the gruesome goings-on by following characters on the other side, those that pay for the pleasure of the killing, and an interesting death scene involving a bath, a scythe and two naked women. However, more than just whether it was a case of 'liked it' or 'hated it' Hostel 2 raises the interesting debate about what is acceptable.

Now, I'm not one for censorship, but with a film like this, where do you draw the line? If this were some hard-to-get film like the infamous movies from the 70's and 80's, then okay. Most people would have to search hard before coming across those gore-soaked classics. But the fact that it is a pretty major, well-marketed release is a worrying sign of the times. There is a trend of pushing the boundaries, making movies as shocking as possible that is starting to, in my opinion, get out of hand. Movies such as Hostel, Saw, Captivity and Paradise Lost contain torture and murder for the sake of torture and murder. Even 10 years ago these movies would not have been granted a release, whereas now they are major players in this new horror sub genre. I'm not saying they should be banned or censored, I happen to like these sorts of movies, but with society in general getting more and more hostile and violent, maybe its time to re-analyse. Or perhaps I'm getting too old.

Shrek the Third

Oh, now here's a question. Where to begin my first review? Will I be kind as this is the first movie to come under my scrutiny? Or should I be harsh to the point of cruelty? So many angles to consider, so many words that could be used. Shall we start with the jumpy and threadbare storyline? Or perhaps look at the take-the-money-and-go voice acting? How about a nice sentence that would sum up the film in one breath: "Running out of steam very quickly ." There we are. A nice, short, easily-digestible soundbite for you.

This sentence is applicable to both the movie itself and to the Shrek franchise as a whole. The trilogy started well, introducing us to new characters set in the loner-saves-girl-gets-friends mould. It played the fairytale angle nicely and to great humour, and was a pioneer into the now familiar world of Computer Generated movies. The second took on from this and went a little bit bigger, although still relied an mostly the same formulae as the first. The third just peddles out the same with much less of the funnies. The characters whip out their catchphrases, dance their dance, and play their role. But we as an audience just don't care. It is, at best, an add-on for the second, but not a stand alone film.

The film opens with the main protagonists from the previous adventures (Shrek, Donkey, Puss in Boots, and Shrek's Lady Friend) they deliver a few jokes, pull a few faces and then its all downhill from there. Chuck in an 'adventure' that teeters on the adventureless, a weaker than weak character voiced by Justin Timberlake (just to pull in the lady vote) and so many morals that you feel like watching Barney the Dinosaur just for some relief. Mike Myers' annoying Scottish accent comes and gos, and he just gives the impression that he wished he had never come up with it in the first place. Not even cameo voices from two python old boys, Messrs Cleese and Idle, can up the comedy tempo from 'not moving'.

So in conclusion, if you did not get the gist from the above text, one to definitely miss.

All New Film Review. See it Here, See it Now!

The time has come, dear friends, to share with you (and, of course, the world) my views and opinions on recent movie releases. I do this not because I want to, but because it has been demanded of me, by a power greater than can be contemplated, a force almost... Holy. I do it because... well, I do it because I have nothing else to do with my time, and I get to see most movies for free and before their cinematic release.

This Summer has seen a fair few Blockbusters already, with the likes of Spider-man 3, Fantastic Four 2, Pirates 3 (where have all the original ideas gone?) and others, with lots more on the way, so I think I may as well throw in my 2 cents worth and have a stab at guiding you good people towards cinema bliss by avoiding all the tripe out there (in that case then, so far it's probably better you sat at home and watched the grass grow than visit your local multiplex).

So sit back and check out whats on offer. You don't have to like what I type, you don't have to even read what I type, but just make sure that you look both ways before crossing the road, and always look out for oncoming traffic.

Blast from the (recent) Past

Went on to Mr Wrights blog and stole this little ditty from new year.

Dancing on the Hill

Put here for the records as I was trying to find it the other day for someone but couldn't.

Fly the Flag

Peter posted this as well, but seeing as he nicked it off me (I stole it from someone else, but that's not important right now), it is my right, nay, my obligation to post it on my site. Because it is a cracking picture.

If someone, and the chances are pretty slim, wanders across this blog and doesn't understand the meaning behind this pic, it stems from the Northern Ireland football supporters and the chant "We're not Brazil, we're Northern Ireland", because as you're probably aware, the teams are quite similar. They both play in green. Except Brazil, who play in yellow. And are both pretty high up the Fifa rankings; one maybe not as close as the other, but still, pretty close. The most significant difference is that Northern Ireland have playing for them the most prolific striker in international football. HEALY! HEALY! So no, We're not Brazil, We're Northern Ireland.

Can't think of a witty title...

Bloody hell, the 11 of June. When did that happen? I mean, its over a week since I updated my blog but I could swear that I updated it only yesterday. Many apologies to the wizened old man and his goat in the middle of Luxembourg who I'm sure are now the only readers of this forum d'ridiculous.

Well, I guess that I haven't been updating as frequently because since the last Blog I have been in work every day. Some good shifts were had, some horrible shifts were had. Like Saturday when I woke up on a couch in the middle of Withington, with only 30 minutes to get to work, a banging head and curry spilled all over my favourite shirt. Mm, that fabulous madras and beer smell all shift. Wonderful. Sunday was a long one from 11.30 in't morning to 12.40 that night. It may be a sign of my (not so young anymore) age, but my feet hurt today, so I am not going to leave the house. And I might not tomorrow either. The reason for this is a wonderful WEEK OFF WORK! Ohh joy of joys. I do have a lot to do, such as haircut and all sorts of financial whoo-haas to sort, but dammit, I am going to sit in my pants all day and enjoy the hot weather.

Mother and Father arrive over in the exotic climes of Manchester on Thursday, and while I hope they enjoy the visit to this historic and colourful city, I hope they take me out of this stinking, festering cesspit of so-called 'civilisation' for a few days at least. It is lovely weather though. As I found out when I went to pour milk into my morning coffee and discovered the heat had transformed it into a new sort of thick, slimy 'matter' instead. Thank you Summer. That's a point to you.

Oh yes, went to a Tom McCrae gig on Saturday evening. He's the fella I travelled down to London to check (refer to earlier blog). Was fantastic gig, lasted two hours. I was thoroughly sick of standing by the end of it, as was Ally, but great stuff. Although I still owe Mr John Bardsley the ticket money. Paying for stuff takes the fun out of stuff. And on that inspirational and insightful quote, I shall take my leave.
Until next time...

Buxton. Where they make the water.

Dear God. It's June. When did that happen? That means it is now almost half way through the year. That is a thought not worth thinking.

Anyhow, today was a day off, and as the weather was smiling and I haven't been out of Manchester much this year, the fair Ally and myself headed to the charming village that is Buxton, where they have the world famous Buxton Spa (it is world famous, it says it on the website. Although Mum hadn't heard of it. Couldn't be that famous then) and the equally famous water. In saying that though, the Spa is probably famous because of the water, so maybe that's one point instead of two... oh, who cares, it's not a game anyway (but just for the record, I win).
There were trees and grass a-plenty, lots of older folk and an air of not Manchester. Brilliant. We walked for quite a time through the quaint-but-expensive-to-live-in looking streets and made our way to Pooles Cavern, where we had an informative foray into 'the most spectacular showcase cave in Britain'. Which was nice. Lots of stalactites and stalagmite's to look at. After that a bit more walking until food.
In this very pleasant town- and pleasant is the right world- we encountered one scally who, as he cycled past, shouted out "Hello. I'm very happy today." Not quite the extreme obscenities that we're used to in Manchester.
Tomorrow we travel even further- to Rusholme! (which is in Manchester, but is a whole lot more 'exotic')