Welcome back to the land of the livin'... NOW PICK UP A SHOVEL AND GET DIGGING!

Well today is indeed special. This is my second day off in a row. And it's really sunny outside. Fantastic. Might go to the cinema today...

No, none of that today, thank you. This day will continue from a cracking end to yesterday when, whilst out wandering, I came upon one of the greatest places (if not the greatest) on earth, a place where all troubles pale into nothing, and the people who inhabit such a magnificent arena of fantasy seem like angels. Yep, you've probably guessed it... I happened across a

B&Q SUPERSTORE!

There was a dazzling light, the sweet perfume of warehouse air conditioning and the largest ride-on-lawnmower I had ever clapped my newly-enlightened eyes upon. After what seemed like an eternity I managed to regain the power of speech and, in a croaky voice, ask one of the orange-aproned apostles the way to the light bulbs. With a reverend grunt and a magical flick of the wrist he beckoned me towards aisle 26. Wow! 26! I would have to walk for miles through this wondrous house of curiosity, no doubt encountering all sorts of astonishing adventures on the way.

Adventures aplenty indeed. But those stories are not for telling right now. No, bigger and better things awaited after the epic journey to aisle 26. When I got there... bear with me now, words are failing when I remember back to that enlightened moment that shall be forever emblazoned on my mind... when I reached my destination, the CHOICE that I was confronted with! It was as if all the little people (elves and such) of the world who make all the godly goods of this land, gathered together and created more light bulbs than there are blades of grass Ireland. It was a sight that needs to be seen as no written account can ever give it justice.

Now, as if this experience was not enough to fill several lives, I then came upon THE GARDEN SECTION!!! SO MANY PLANTS AND POTS AND TREES AND SHEDS!!!!!!!! I may be a hardy, of the Earth, stony faced man, but... I cried. At least (regain some dignity, dammit) I shed a tear. Then it all got too much for me, and I had to leave (my dinner was ready) but today I SHALL RETURN...